A Saturnalia Solstice
by penpractice
Summary: Secret Santa Gift Fic for Muses-InspireMe-Daily. Saturnalia is a Solstice celebration that took place in ancient Rome during which some roles got switched around. Sookie and Eric discover its spirit is not history. Just a little holiday fun.


**A Saturnalia Solstice*:**

Happy Solstice, Muses-InspireMe-Daily, Nu Vänder Det!

Note on the Timeframe: This doesn't fit very well into the timeline of the books as it is not long after Eric's amnesia (which was New Year) but takes place on the Winter Solstice (21st/22nd December) so call it artistic licence and just go with it. It's festive in the solstice sense and hopefully just a bit of fun :) Massive thanks to the wonderful beta Treewitch703 xx

* * *

**Part 1: Sookie**

"Ow!" Waking on the shortest day of the year, Sookie had tried to roll onto her front but the sharp pain she felt made it clear this was a very bad idea. She rolled back over and stretched, letting out a loud yawn.

After grabbing a scrunchy from her night stand and pulling her hair up out of the way, she staggered from her bed to the kitchen, ducking under the door frame on her way, her bare feet negotiating the hard wooden floor before taking a turn on to the worn linoleum, and flicked on the faucet. One hand held the coffee pot under the water to fill while the other rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

Once the coffee was on she wandered back towards the bedroom, again starting to duck as she passed through the doorway, halfway through the motion she realised how stupid it was and straightened up banging her crown on the lintel.

"Ow sugar!" she rubbed the top of her head, her eyes watering. Pulling the door towards her she reached round it to grab her robe off the hook on the back. The robe was half way from its hook when she froze. The silky material scrunched up as she clenched her fist and slowly turned her hand over to examine the back.

It was a strong hand, nicely tanned to a colour she liked. It showed signs of manual work but not to the point of being gnarly. On the whole it was a good hand. In fact the only real problem with the hand was that it wasn't hers.

She remained very still. It would only take a slight turn of her head to be able to see herself in the mirror over her vanity and she knew she was going to have to look but she wanted to prepare herself first. She already had a pretty good idea of what she was going to see.

Sookie was surprised to note she was not _that_ surprised. After everything else that had happened to her, somehow waking up in the wrong body didn't seem so strange. Still, she jumped a little when she turned her head, even though she'd half expected it. There was something wrong about seeing that particular face looking back at her in the daylight that streamed through her bedroom window.

After inspecting her reflection for a moment and trying a few exploratory pats and pinches she sighed and dropped her hands to her sides. Well, her robe was never going to fit this body. After another deep breath she took stock. Despite the body she was wearing belonging to a vampire, she was definitely still human, what with the sunlight and the breathing. It didn't even have the pallor of someone who'd been dead for over a thousand years. She wasn't sure how that worked but she was glad it was the case.

She looked at Eric's reflection in the mirror.

"This is all your fault," she told him. Those blue eyes looked just as accusingly back. "Yeah, I know, back atcha." She glared back at him then suddenly burst into laughter. Eric looked really silly with the high ponytail she'd tied her hair into when she first woke up. She shook his head back and forth a couple of times making the hair swish round the sides before sniggering again and taking it down. For now she settled for a regular low club. She had a more pressing problem.

Sitting on her bed, staring at her lap in apprehension, she became aware of the strong muscled thigh, most of which was on display as she was still only wearing the large Tweety-Pie t-shirt that was one of her favourite sleep shirts. Luckily even on this body it covered enough to maintain some modesty, but only just. (She was glad she hadn't worn her 'Wonder Woman' shorts and cami set, it didn't cover much on _her_ and she dreaded to think what Eric would look like in it.)

Sookie ran Eric's fingers up Eric's thigh curiously, with trepidation she lifted the bottom of the shirt and peeked underneath. Eric's penis was resting quietly on a nest of golden pubic hair and testicles. It looked so innocent just laying there. Quickly she covered it up, internally chiding herself for looking. Not that she hadn't seen it before, or that Eric had any trouble letting it be seen, but this was different somehow.

Unable to put it off any longer, she wandered into the bathroom chewing Eric's lip and eyed the toilet apprehensively. Of course she knew what to do in theory but still …

Sookie lifted the toilet lid and turned to lower herself onto the seat. It was a long way down – much further than she expected and she landed with a thump that came with a loud disturbing noise suggesting she had only just avoided breaking the fittings. She got back up. It had been immediately clear that Eric took up far too much room on the seat to try this sitting down. Turning she faced the bowl sceptically. She peeped under the t-shirt to scowl at Eric's penis. This was going to be very strange. Gingerly she took it between two fingers and pointed it at the toilet. Then she let go of it again and lifted the seat before retaking aim.

Wincing as if it was going to hurt Sookie released her bladder. Eric's penis jumped from her tentative grasp instantly spraying everywhere like a hose. Just as with a hose, Eric's penis seemed to have no greater desire than to spray her in the face. She had to hold it more firmly than she would have liked and it really didn't want to aim into the toilet. As she tried to make it do as it was told she decided this part of Eric had retained his personality and hadn't the slightest intention of behaving itself.

Finally she was done and she grabbed some toilet paper to dab at the end, promptly getting tissue stuck to the tip. _Darn it._ The tissue didn't want to come off, eventually in frustration she smacked the penis. _Ow!_ She sighed, let go of it and slumped her shoulders. Who was she kidding. She _wasn't_ OK with this. She was in someone else's body, a man's body, and that man was a vampire sheriff. 'Keep Calm and Carry On' might have been the right idea if your country was at risk of getting invaded but what about when your mind had invaded some other body?

After cleaning up the mess the penis had made, she decided the only way to get rid of the toilet paper that seemed to have welded itself under the foreskin was to have a shower. She was hoping that standing under a warm spray of water would calm her as well. When stripping the t-shirt from Eric's body she heard the material rip and cursed. It was one of her favourite shirts. Trust Eric to rip it. She was focusing all the blame on him though she knew that was unfair. It is very unsatisfying to rant against an unknown person so for now Eric was keeping the blame until she had someone else to yell at for all the problems she was having.

Sookie turned the water on and grabbed a towel making sure to snag one of the giant bath ones that was almost as big as a blanket. After sticking her hand under the flow to check the temperature she glanced over her shoulder to check if she'd forgotten anything. As she did she caught the reflected image of Eric's rear in the mirror. Sookie would never forget the first time she saw it.

Stepping into the shower Sookie's memories continued, she'd gotten in the shower right after that first viewing too. And, like now, Eric had also stepped into her shower then. Of course that time only _he_ had been affected by a spell. She remembered him washing her, running soapy hands over her skin. As she mimicked the action now she couldn't help but notice what long thick fingers Eric had.

A strange sensation distracted her, a kind of heat accompanied by a sort of internal pulling sensation? Or was it a tightening? Or perhaps a hardening? She looked down to see that bit of Eric looking right back at her. It was most definitely enjoying the feel of the spraying water where it hit directly and was demanding more. More sensation, more satisfaction, more something or everything – it wasn't something Sookie could describe accurately but it was _very_ insistent, making it hard to think about anything else.

Sookie tried to distract herself with the knowledge that this had basically happened because she was looking at her own butt – well sort of, but the penis was still looking at her demandingly which was almost as distracting as the need to satisfy it that was running through her. To stop it staring she put her hand over it, and tried to push it down - OW FUCK!

On the plus side the very strange pain had interrupted the penis's incessant demand for attention of a different kind but cheez and rice that was a strange feeling, painful in a way that defied the normal rules of pain – she made a mental note to be more careful around penises in future. The disruption did allow her brain to function properly for a moment and she remembered all the times she'd heard guys thinking of disgusting things in order to counter an involuntary bulge. Damn it, she couldn't think of a single disgusting thing … dirty diapers … which came on babies … which came from sex … the penis countered, it had recovered from its pain and was making an impressive come back. OK something else … er … dead things … like Eric … and Eric's butt … insisted the penis … Sookie scrunched her eyes tight, concentrating on thinking of something sufficiently gross, but opened them again when she realised the penis had claimed a hand to hold it while she wasn't paying attention. As a last desperate attempt she took control of the other hand and quickly twisted the temperature right down to as cold as it went.

While showers always seemed to take their sweet time getting warm, ask for cold and it is pretty much instantaneous. Sookie squealed as the icy needles attacked but made herself stay under the spray. After a while she nudged the temperature up so it wasn't so cold but left it cool enough to be unpleasant while she got clean. Once she was out and mostly dry she looked at Eric's face in the mirror.

Seeing the reflection, she shifted the towel so it was only around her waist rather than around her chest, and pulled the turbaned one from her hair, it just looked wrong. There was rough stubble covering her chin and she assessed it with a hand. Eric's face could get away with it but she wanted to look tidy for Sam and the scruff looked distinctly like she just hadn't bothered shaving rather than the more deliberate 'designer stubble' effect.

She dug out a fresh razor and her shaving gel before going back to the reflection. She had a quick read of the gel can, it was obviously designed for women but didn't say anything about keeping it away from the face. She examined the surface carefully looking for the tricky bits. Years of shaving her own body still left her feeling unprepared for what she was about to try.

Forty five minutes later she felt quite pleased with the results, she only had seven dabs of tissue paper stuck to her face stopping the bleeding and it hadn't hurt too much. She left the tissue to do its work while she went to tackle dressing.

Hidden in the back of her closet was a pair of red underpants. After falling over the first time she tried to put them on, she sat on the bed and stepped into them before standing again. Once she pulled them up a lot of adjustment was required to make them comfortable enough to be bearable and even then she felt pretty squished down there, after walking around the bedroom a bit she decided to go without and took them off – ahhh that felt better.

She went to the closet in the spare room and fished out the jeans Eric had been wearing when she'd found him running down the side of the road. The bottoms were a bit tattered but she'd seen enough kids with their jeans under rather than over their asses (so that the hems dragged under their shoes) to figure she could get away with that. She also had the shirt Pam had given her to wear after the Maenad attack that fitted this body, so that just left shoes. Searching through the closet she found the pair Jason had bought, presumably post-amnesiac Eric had left the way amnesiac Eric had arrived – i.e. barefoot.

She put on the jeans being careful when doing up the zipper then went back to check the facial nicks had stopped bleeding before putting on the white shirt. It was only when she went to put the shoes on that she realised she didn't have any Eric-sized socks. She'd just have to go without those too.

Sookie dragged her Eric-body back to the kitchen to pour herself some coffee, automatically ducking again on her way through. She looked at the cup she'd gotten out and frowned at it. Then she put it back and took out her largest mug. Partly she felt that the 'Best Sister' cup would look silly in Eric's hand, and partly she made the executive decision to ramp up her usual caffeine intake.

When she didn't think about it too much, she could managed this alternative body just fine but when she _was_ thinking about it, she was struggling. She nearly knocked the coffee machine over because her reach was different and she banged her knee painfully on the table leg trying to sit. Or was that Eric's knee? Either way it was certainly her pain.

She made and ate breakfast and finished her coffee while she tried to think about what she was going to do. Since it was day there was no point calling Pam or Eric since … Wait! If she had Eric's body did that mean …? Sookie pushed the thought away. There was nothing she could do about it and it was too disturbing. Anyway she couldn't call any vampires since they wouldn't be awake. She didn't seem to be in any immediate danger and presumably her body was safe in whatever hidey-hole Eric had locked himself away for the day.

In fact, whatever had happened was more likely to be about him than her anyway since if someone wanted to get at _her_ why would they give her a bigger, stronger body? Maybe there was a witch that had survived the witch war exacting some weird form of revenge? Deciding she wasn't going to get any answers until after dark Sookie focused instead on the more immediate problem of work.

Sookie looked at the clock. She was due at Merlotte's later for her shift and she couldn't miss it. Sam had some writer from a travel magazine or blog or something coming in and everything had to be perfect. The writer was looking for small out of the way places to list as good locations to stop for food with local flavour. If all went well he'd be recommending Merlotte's in whatever it was he wrote for. Sam had been on edge about it for weeks and Sookie had promised him that no matter what she wouldn't let him down.

Having decided that, whatever she looked like, she was going to be there for Sam, after lunch she set off to work. Driving was a little difficult, even after adjusting the seat, but she made it to Merlotte's in one piece. For a long period she sat in her car wondering how Sam was going to take her appearance.

Eventually, with a sigh, Sookie let herself in the back door and hoped Sam was in his office. She'd rather have a chance to talk to him first before dealing with anyone else. She knocked on the door and opened it immediately. Sam's pleasant expression went cold instantly but a moment later turned to shock as he realised it was still day.

Sookie extended the large pair of hands she currently had, palms down in a whoa there gesture.

"Sam let me explain, it's not what you think," she said in a deep calming voice. It had the opposite effect, with a looked of raised hackles Sam stood slowly, he seemed wary. He drew in a long breath through his nose, his eyes running over every inch of Eric's body.

"How … What …" he stammered.

"How? I'm not sure, I woke up like this, another spell I'm guessing …"

"So why come to me? What do you expect me to do about it? If you're thinking of dragging Sookie into your shit again forget it, that girl has been through enough. Why can't you just leave her alone?" Sookie could see that, even though he was facing a human Eric, or so he thought, Sam was obviously still scared but he was standing up for her just the same.

"Oh Sam, that's so sweet, thank you," she said sincerely. "You're such a good friend, remind me I owe you a really good belly rub." Sam looked at 'Eric' in shock.

"Er …"

Sookie suddenly realised why Sam was looking so horrified and had to laugh. "Oh, right," she sniggered. "It's Sookie."

"What's Sookie?"

"I'm Sookie," she explained seriously.

"You're Sookie?"

"Yes." Sam looked blank. "I'm in the wrong body but I'm me. I'm still human, still a telepath unfortunately, and still a waitress – well waiter for now I guess."

"You came here to work?" Sam said as if this was the most important point.

"Yeah, I know it's a little weird but I didn't want to let you down after having so much time off lately. Besides, I couldn't just pace my house waiting for dark, I was going crazy. God only knows what …" She cut the thought off and shook her head. Not thinking about it was the point.

"Sookie?" Sam said looking at her face as this fact tried to sink in for him. She nodded. He walked round his desk and looked up at her, searching her eyes.

[***]

It was several hours later that Sookie went back into Sam's office for a break. He'd been very good about the whole thing. He hadn't been sure about her working to start with but she'd insisted and he really needed someone to cover that shift. The visit from the travel writer went well and despite a few surprised reactions to Sam's 'new temp' waiter', the shift wasn't so different from any other.

Sam followed her back into his office.

"How you getting on?" he asked. Customers and staff alike treated Sookie very differently in this body. Not only was she male and intimidatingly handsome at that, she wasn't perceived to be crazy.

"I have a blister," she grumbled making Sam laugh. "I see now why Eric left these shoes at my house. Especially without socks, they really rub." Sam opened a drawer and pulled out a band aid and pair of socks. As a shifter he was used to keeping spare clothes everywhere. Sookie sat and started to pull them on.

"Any other problems?"

"Not problems exactly but it is weird having girls making eyes at me and Portia Bellefleur pinching my ass."

"She did what?" Sam laughed.

"I know I couldn't believe it either. She's desperate to land herself a husband but as far as 'Eric' is concerned she just wants to scratch an itch. She'd never settle for a waiter no matter how good he looked." As Sookie explained what she'd heard, Sam wrinkled his nose to say he didn't agree with Portia's evaluation of Eric as looking good. "Sorry Sam but it's a fact," Sookie said holding her arms out to show the body she was wearing.

"Now you even sound like him," Sam complained.

Sookie shuddered theatrically before standing to test the effects of Sam's socks on her blistered feet – or Eric's blistered feet. After a couple of experimental steps across the office she smiled at Sam.

"Wow, that's so much better." The socks were a little small for Eric's feet but still covered them and the barrier against the rough material of the shoes was a huge improvement. In a couple of Eric's long strides she was beside her boss and grabbed him in a hug. Sam looked very disconcerted and Sookie laughed. Getting a better hold she lifted him right up off the ground and swung him a little in what her brother used to call a 'big squeeze.' Sam couldn't help but laugh though he also smacked at Eric's big arms holding him up.

"Put me down or when you try to rub my belly I'll bite you." They were both laughing as Sookie released him after lowering him to the ground. The pair sensed their audience at the same time and looked to the open doorway which framed Bill Compton. His face was full of shock, his jaw dropped and his complexion went even paler than usual. Before anyone could speak he disappeared, getting out of there vampire speed. Sam and Sookie looked back at each other, the silence stretched only for a moment before a snort escaped Sookie, then they both collapsed gasping and laughing.

**Part 2: Eric**

Laying flat on his back, Eric could smell magic in the air before he even opened his eyes for the evening. He remained very still to see if he could detect any other indication of danger or what might have happened. When there was nothing, carefully he opened his eyes for the briefest flash. At a glance his bedroom looked just as he'd expected. After a couple more checks he opened his eyes properly. His room was exactly as it had been when he'd fallen to the sun. Apart from the magic there wasn't so much as a scent out of place.

Eventually he pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked down in shock as he felt his boobs move. Eric wasn't beyond enjoying contemplation of what nice breasts they were while also accepting that clearly something was wrong here. His eyes ran down the rest of his body – or as it was, _a_ body, until he got to the painted toenails. He wiggled the toes. Well this was new. The body was vampire but it wasn't Pam's, he knew her breasts too well, these were different, besides she didn't shave her bikini line in the same way.

After enjoying the breasts for a while, he got up and went to the mirror. He smiled at the image of Sookie that was looking back at him. He'd told her he would see all of her skin, of course he had been hoping _she'd_ be inside it when he did. Supposedly he had already seen it of course, but as he couldn't remember that, it didn't count.

Slowly he turned in front of the mirror getting a good all round view (making sure to check firmness and the like with his – or rather her – hands). Her tan lines, that were still visible despite the blanching that had occurred from the body being made vampire, showed delightfully-small white patches and Eric considered arranging for her to be filmed while sunbathing. He'd like to see her in the suit that left those lines. Like so many other plans he'd had regarding the tasty telepath, he was unlikely to follow through with it but he enjoyed the fantasy anyway.

After a final comprehensive look down the body he headed for the door and punched in the code to open it. Eric jogged halfway to the kitchen and walked the rest of the way. He was going to need a bra. He rubbed his now sore breasts with a frown. Despite his extensive knowledge of women's bodies he'd never been inside one in this manner before, he was going to need some help. Unfortunately, when he searched for it he could not find his link to Pam, or Sookie for that matter. Whatever magic had done this was affecting his blood ties.

He warmed some blood and headed back to the bedroom to find his phone. After an experimental phrase confirmed the voice came with the body, he fired off a text to Pam. It would be easier to explain this face to face. Eric wandered into the room Pam used at his house and started opening drawers. He found a bra and held it up. He'd never had to put one of these things _on_ before.

He inspected the clasp and then put his arms through the straps. Sookie's breasts were bigger than Pam's and he could see immediately that the cups were too small but it would have to do for now. Even on the loosest setting the bra felt too tight and uncomfortable but a few experimental jumps proved he could at least move around faster without trouble. He was still vampire and dealing with some discomfort or even outright pain was something you learned to exist with.

Eric picked out some panties too, small lacy ones that didn't cover too much and admired the effect in Pam's full length mirror before returning to his room. It was more than his life was worth to start stealing Pam's clothes (unless she deserved it) and nothing in her regular wardrobe would suit Sookie anyway.

Back in his room he opened his closet without much hope. The row of shirts reminded him of a time he'd seen Sookie wearing one before, the effect had been very pleasing, especially since his scent had hovered round her in it. He put one on and buttoned it. Looking in the mirror he felt it hid her figure too much so he headed back to Pam's room to claim a belt. He liked the finished effect a lot. After this spell issue was all sorted out he intended to get Sookie wearing his shirts as often as possible. A quick try-on proved that, as suspected, Pam's feet were a different size to Sookie's so for now he went bare-foot. Pam would be here soon, she would have to go to the mall. There was no doubt in his mind that he would have to go to Sookie. If he were to meet trouble he could handle it but he didn't want to risk Sookie wandering around possibly in his body until he knew what the threat was.

When the door bell rang, Eric was glad he'd found some clothes to fit, in his own body he wouldn't care but he didn't want the delivery man seeing Sookie's, that was just for him. As it was, while Eric checked the paperwork before signing the man just stared at Sookie's cleavage. At first Eric was annoyed purely on account that he didn't want anyone looking at Sookie's breasts but him. However when he tried to ask the man a question about the rest of the delivery he was expecting, at first the man didn't even seem to notice he was being spoken to and when Eric did manage to get through to him, he still continued to talk to Eric's chest.

Eric frowned. The feeling gave him the inclination to dip down so that he could catch the man's eye – or perhaps pick him up by the throat to remind him of his manners, but unfortunately he was the human of another vampire, the one who was sending these special project supplies to Eric. He finally got the man to look at his face by growling and extending his fangs. The man blushed and apologised then instantly took another look at the contours disturbing Eric's shirt. Eric knew it was exactly what he would have done – well without the blushing and apologising part.

He was just about to sign when he realised another problem, he couldn't sign his own name, since the delivery man would report back to his master that a woman had taken delivery. And he couldn't sign as Sookie since the packages were only to be received by him.

"I'll just get Eric to sign for these," he said before disappearing in the house. A glance over his shoulder told him the man was now watching Sookie's ass walk away. Eric decided it was probably a good job that he didn't have Sookie's ability along with her body. Had he heard the man's thoughts he might have smacked some manners into him no matter who he belonged to and that would definitely cause problems.

Eric liked to leer of course, it made Sookie blush such a beautiful blood colour, enhancing her scent. But it was related to who she was as much as what she looked like. This man's gaze was objectifying and Eric found he resented it. Who'd have thought he was such a feminist? Pam would be so proud. He found a scrap of paper and checked his signature hadn't changed. Luckily, as long as he remembered to press a bit harder to make up for the change in strength, it came out all right.

It was not long after the delivery man had left when he heard Pam arrive. He wandered towards the kitchen to meet her as she came in.

"Well Sookie, look at you," Pam said running her tongue over her lipstick.

"Yes, look at me!" Eric said.

"It suits you. You must let me know if there is _anything_ I can help you with," Eric's eyes flashed. Did Pam think this was funny? Then it clicked. She thought he _was_ Sookie, just made vampire.

"You don't think Eric would mind?" He said suggestively, leading Pam into his trap.

"Why should he? After all," Pam lowered her voice so that only a vampire standing close could hear. "I can provide you with experiences he can't. He's a great vampire of course but he is only male."

"What do you mean?" Eric whispered back, pushing her to expand, she was going to pay for this insolence.

"Only that you should embrace this experience for _all_ its opportunities. In fact," Pam looked excited as she contemplated. "Eric as a human … hmmm I wonder what he tastes like?" She grinned conspiratorially at 'Sookie'. "We could share him. Since he's human he will lack the stamina to properly satisfy us both but then we can always help each other out there. He won't like that of course, not with you, but we can glamour him to … fuck a zombie, that won't work. He probably has your annoying immunity to glamour." Pam seemed unaware she was speaking her thoughts aloud, what she'd read as Sookie's tacit agreement having over excited her.

"So on being confronted with this situation, your response is to use your Maker as a living dildo in the sexual seduction of his human?" Eric clarified. Pam froze. She looked braced as she slowly moved her eyeballs until her gaze met his. The _'oh shit' _was all over her face.

"Sookie?" She asked desperately. Sookie's blue eyes looked at her coldly. "I … Um …" Pam knew nothing she could say would dig her out of this one. There was no mistaking that intense look even when plastered on the wrong face.

"Master, forgive me. I meant only to tease Sookie," she tried anyway.

"Bullshit!" Eric stated plainly. Pam winced. She decided to distract him with more important issues.

"How? What happened? Was it the witches again?"

"You informed me they had all been killed," he accused. Pam winced again. Could this get worse?

"We killed the whole pack that we knew of, but who knows what other …" Pam trailed off. "That _cannot_ be comfortable," she said changing the subject again while staring at his ample bust.

"What?"

"You have a rather alarming case of double-boob, it is not attractive."

"It is uncomfortable, your brassieres are too small for these breasts but it was still preferable to the bouncing around that happened with no support at all."

"Why were they bouncing around?" She asked suggestively.

"Pam get your mind out of the orgasm. I ran to the kitchen to get blood and found it very unpleasant, like running with a hard-on." Pam laughed, Eric gave her a look.

"It seems some of Sookie's personality comes with the body. I've never known you move the subject _away_ from sex before. Next thing you'll have an attack of modesty and say you're not even going to let me enjoy a good look before you return it."

"Pamela, need I remind you _who_ this body belongs to?"

"No Master,"

"Who?"

"You Master,"

"Then why would you continue to try to purloin what belongs to your Maker? Have I lost your respect?" The question was not plaintive, it was threatening. If Eric ever genuinely thought he had lost her respect and if he had to earn it back, the experience would not be something she would enjoy. Vampires respected strength and power, Eric would display his to the fullest to ensure she did not lose respect for him again. Pam shook her head vehemently but didn't dare make a sound. Luckily Eric look satisfied he'd made his point for now. He sounded more genial when he continued. "Besides, Sookie has made it clear that is not where her interests lay." Pam had not given up all hope of ever having a true taste of telepath, after all the girl was always saying she wasn't interested in Eric and they all knew that was a big lie.

It had been clear from the start that Sookie was attracted to Eric; as time went on he'd used his own brand of charm to worm his way through her resistance, taking it slow to enjoy the process. Of course the process was complicated by her continually throwing up new roadblocks whenever progress was made. Yet again she'd pulled back from Eric after his amnesia had been cured. That was why …

"Well," Eric interrupted her thoughts. "Firstly you will find me a bra that fits. I will need shoes too."

"What about clothes?"

"I have dealt with clothes," he said looking offended. She looked again at the large shirt secured with a belt.

"Eric, while there is no doubt that your shirts looks good on Sookie, it gives the impression of a 'walk of shame' as the humans call it."

"A what?" Shame was not something Eric tended to experience much.

"When a woman has impulsively spent the night with a man and therefore has no appropriate clothes the morning after. We both know Sookie is not that type of girl – unfortunately."

"There is nothing 'unfortunate' about Sookie saving herself for me."

"Except that whole 'Bill' mistake." Pam pointed out. Taking advantage of being female, Eric slapped his child's face but it wasn't that hard so Pam knew he wasn't that angry. "Bitch," she said with a fangy grin.

"Pam why is it you choose now as the first time ever you need to be asked twice to shop?" Eric said losing interest in the exchange. She flitted to the door quickly knowing play-time was over. "By the way," she threw over her shoulder glancing back at her Maker. "You hit like a girl!" she snarked before fleeing to the mall.

Eric laughed to himself as Pam left. He would have fun coming up with punishments for her once this was sorted out. His child had left some messages on the kitchen counter for him and he flicked through them. One caught his attention. Damn. How was he going to deal with that. It really shouldn't wait but … Had it been a stranger he might have got away with it, however Alcide was bound to recognise Sookie's voice.

Even so there was no way a text or an email was going to work. He needed to speak to the Were. After a great deal of rapid contemplation Eric accepted that the only way he was going to be able to do this was to pretend to be Sookie calling on Eric's behalf.

Eric sat at his desk, then had to stand again to reach the paperwork he needed, stupid short arms, he'd also had to hover using his flight ability in order to reach his hair brush earlier, though he had found texting Pam easier due to Sookie's smaller fingers. Once settled he dialled the number.

"Sookie?" Alcide said when Eric said hello, he wasn't sure how Sookie would introduce herself to the Were so he was glad her voice had been recognised, it made things easier. "I was hoping I'd hear from you." Eric was not pleased by how enthusiastic the Were sounded. It wasn't the first time he'd regretted his decision to send Alcide with Sookie to Jackson but he had been the logical choice.

"Actually this is a business call," Eric said in the way Sookie often did when she came to Fangtasia.

"You having problems with your house? You know I'll do you a good deal and even put you up while the work is done – I'd call it the Sookie special." Underneath the light flirty tones, Eric could hear just how happy Alcide would be to have Sookie at his house. It took control not to growl and he reminded himself it was important to pull this off without the Were becoming suspicious. As such Eric tried to answer with as much 'Sookie-ness' as he could muster..

"It's sweet of you to offer Alcide, but actually I'm calling for Eric." Alcide made a sound of disgust that Eric knew the Were would never make if he knew he was speaking to the vampire directly.

"I keep hoping you'll get away from that lot," Alcide sighed with resignation. "So what does the annoying dead want?" The joy and enthusiasm was gone from his voice. "Perhaps you need me to accompany you on another date?" The Were added perking back up.

Eric took another breath to calm himself. This was going to be harder than he thought. He ran his mind over the memories of everything he knew about Sookie and Alcide's interactions. He was resigned to having to flirt with the Were, soothing himself with the knowledge of how much Alcide would hate it if he knew the truth. Besides, Eric had needed to do much worse things over the centuries.

"Are you saying Eric is your pimp?" he asked in Sookie's teasing tones. He managed a genuine snigger at the rent-a-dog image in his head. "Because you know I'm not the sort of girl to pay for it," he added.

"Oh for you I'd definitely provide freebies," Alcide replied with a seductive growl in his voice. "I'll throw in so many extras you won't be able to handle it."

"I think you'd be surprised at what I can handle," Eric said not sure if that was him or Sookie talking.

"I'd love to find out," Alcide said eagerly.

Eric laughed. "Don't be so sure about that. I'm sure I wouldn't be what you expect." He could not believe he was doing this and exceptionally glad that Pam was not around. For comfort he'd rubbed a hand over the soft skin of Sookie's thigh but quickly stopped, playing with himself while having this conversation took it to whole new levels of wrong. Besides he didn't want to risk Sookie's voice getting breathy while talking to the Were.

"You always defy expectations Sook, it's one of the things I love about you," Alcide was saying. Eric rolled his eyes.

Deciding things had gone far enough, he changed the subject. He closed the topic with an admonishing, drawn out "Allll-ciide," then returned to Sookie's business tone. "Anyway, Eric asked me to call you about some building work you're doing for him."

"Oh that! Yes I thought we might be hearing from him soon. Well you'll just have to tell him, unlike Viking mud huts, with …"

"Longhouses," Eric snarled out.

"What?" Alcide was on alert hearing that Sookie's voice was not its usual. Eric could have kicked himself but he'd have to make the point now. Sookie was well read, she probably knew this even if Alcide didn't.

"Vikings built longhouses, not _huts_, and they were mostly made of wood." Eric made an effort to keep Sookie's voice soft, muffling the offence he'd felt at Alcide's slur.

"Oh, well, whatever. They didn't use concrete. If they did, he might have a clue that it needs to dry properly before we continue or the foundations might as well not be there at all. Still I suppose they were more about destroying than building." Eric choked on his indignation. It had been a long time since anyone had dared speak to him like that. He knew Alcide wasn't a fan but the scathing tone held no hint of the wariness it had usually and consequently the flip comments sounded even more insulting. They weren't said to get a rise out of him, they were said with the expectation of agreement. Alcide took the sound to be laughter and he added his own while Eric plotted revenge.

"Anyway, enough about the sucker," Alcide said although they hadn't really covered the issue at all. "I'm going down to Galveston to talk to some possible new suppliers. Since you like the sun so much you could come along, go to the beach while I'm in meetings. Then in the evening, well I know this restaurant." Alcide trailed off at 'Sookie's' silence. Eric realised he'd have to say something.

"You're inviting … me … to go to Galveston with you?"

"Yeah. I thought we could make a road trip out of it, find some good motels, ya-know."

"Oh I know," Eric said. His fangs had come out. 'Sookie's' fangs were different from his, all vampire fangs were unique to the vampire, it meant he had to be careful not to lisp despite his experience.

"So? What do you think?" Alcide prompted, still waiting for a response that indicated Sookie's state of mind.

"No. I don't think it's a good idea," Eric said definitely. "Sorry," he added as an afterthought. He wasn't of course but he knew Sookie would have said the word anyway. The wolf was going to find himself neutered if he wasn't careful, Eric had no doubts over the much debated issue of whether removal of the testicles improved the behaviour of dogs. Flirting was one thing, Sookie might be chatty and playful, but she'd never actually go out with the Were, and not away for several days, not with motels, not if he had anything to do with it – and the vampire intended to have everything to do with it.

Eric managed to get Alcide to talk building work with Sookie but found it frustrating not to simply demand what he wanted and hang up. Sookie was so particular about that, always wanting a hello and goodbye to bracket the conversation as if hanging up didn't end any conversation far more satisfactorily and without the risk of a 'just one more thing'.

Once done with the wolf, Eric decided to take a shower. He took his time, stripping slowly in front of the mirror to enjoy the show and ignoring the fact that he was seducing himself. After a sigh of relief at the removal of the too-small bra, Eric toyed with a nipple. Curiously he extended his fangs. They were, like her, shapely with nice curves. He felt an throb down below as he ran his tongue down one, in the mirror Sookie's eyes filled with heat. He'd experienced that feeling in other ways, vicariously through Pam often and even through Sookie, in Jackson for example. And of course he'd felt the contraction of muscles on his fingers and his cock often, but experiencing the feeling himself was quite different, excitingly so. Eric ran Sookie's fingers down over Sookie's body. Excitement growing as he remembered that warm tight tunnel more clearly than any other his fingers had explored. Eric moved to lay on his bed ready to explore again and further.

[***]

He was in the shower when Pam returned. She walked straight into the bathroom holding the vibrator Eric had taken from her room. She paused to get a good look at Sookie's body before looking questioningly at him. He looked back unabashed.

"I hope you didn't clean it," she said running it under her nose. Her instant disappointment showed he had. She inhaled again more deeply taking in the scent from Sookie's wet body.

"I still have to wonder what you taste like," she said, the curiosity a little too intense in her eyes. Eric figured he must smell enough like the telepath to be extremely tempting. He extended his fangs, punctured a fingers and sucked on it.

"Mmmm, like a blend of me and Sookie," he said delighted with the idea. Pam looked even more eager.

"No!" Eric informed her without room for argument. Glowering, she reined herself in. She grabbed him a towel as he turned the water off. He wrapped it around his waist and walked to the bedroom leaving a trail of water as he always did.

Pam had a wide selection of clothes laid out on his bed ready for him to try. She gave him a fangy grin, looking forward to playing 'dress the Sookie.'

[***]

Four outfits later, Eric was dressed in a pink jump-suit that had slits running from the fitted ankles to the hip and a low scoop neckline. Pam had just added a wide belt to clinch it in at the waist when he turned to look in the mirror.

"Pam, I look like Candyfloss Barbie has thrown up on me, I'm not wearing this either." He swept it off in one ripping sweep making sure, like the previous outfits, no one could wear it. Pam sighed disappointedly and put aside the accessories ready to start yet again.

Eric tried on a jeans and t-shirt combo that was the feminine equivalent of what he would usually wear. Though the tight fit of both complimented Sookie's curves beautifully he always liked to see more skin when it came to her. Even with her tan paled by vampirism Eric didn't like the idea of covering it up.

Several outfits later Eric stood before the mirror putting the finishing touches to his braids. He had left enough loose hair to frame Sookie's face while ensuring her neck was exposed. He didn't think Sookie needed make-up but Pam insisted on some lipstick at least and he rolled his lips together to even it out. Finally he looked in the mirror with satisfaction.

Eric had always known how to dress to best display his assets and he had no qualms regarding male versus female clothing. He'd been around long enough and travelled widely enough to know such ideas were impermanent cultural conventions that changed as easily as the weather. He'd worn both make-up and heels before as 'male' fashion.

At least in Sookie's body the height added by four inch heels only made him feel less of a midget. Not that Sookie was short just much shorter than he was used to. Similar heels in 17th Century France had made remaining inconspicuous in his own body nearly impossible.

The shoes Pam had picked for him also gave Sookie's legs a nice shape and it only took him a couple of turns around the room to master his walk, adding a little swing to the hips and identifying the stride that displayed this body to its best effect. Pam actually looked envious.

Eric turned back to the mirror. The top included a fitted corset that gave him an impressive display of cleavage and he took a couple of unnecessary breaths just to watch it heave. He'd paired it with a pencil cut skirt that came to just above the knee and had a slit up one side to give a delicious flash of thigh when he walked. The rear view was, as Pam had stated, bootylicious.

Eric was ready to go and look for _his_ body. He had to admit he had a few concerns as to what Sookie might get up to in it. Most likely she would stay home so no one saw her but he couldn't dispel the fear that she might give herself a manicure or shave his legs to make herself feel more feminine.

There was only one thing left to cover before he went.

"Pamela," he said in the tone that, even in Sookie's lilt, communicated just how much trouble his child was in. He shook Sookie's head when Pam tried to look innocently curious as to what he wanted to talk about. "Tell me, why, upon discovering a 'vampire Sookie' in my house would you immediately suppose that _I_ had correspondingly become human? Surely the most logical conclusion was simply that she had been turned." Pam cringed. She hadn't been guarded in what she said because she'd assumed she was talking to Sookie. "You did not even seem very surprised," Eric said looking at Pam accusingly. She kept her face calm.

"Well there always seems to be something with you two," she said casually. Eric grabbed her and forced her to face him.

"I may not look like it right now but I am still your Maker Pamela," he said sternly. Pam gave a facial 'gulp!' "What did you do?"

"I was trying to help. These games you both keep playing put us all in danger. I though if you understood each other better …"

"And this achieves that how?" He interrupted

"It wasn't meant to … it's gone a bit wrong," she admitted.

"Wrong how?"

"You were suppose to swap abilities not bodies. You should have kept _your_ body and _your_ mind but had her ability and vice versa."

"So you _intended_ to make me human?"

"It's only temporary Eric, the idea was for you to experience being a _telepath_ not a human, and more importantly for Sookie to experience being a vampire."

"I will go and get Sookie and then you can undo it."

"I … Um …"

"Pam?" There was no mistaking the warning in his voice but what was done was done.

"I can't undo it," she confessed.

"What do you mean? You said it is temporary."

"It is but …"

"But what? How long am I suppose to stay like this?"

Pam gave in and told Eric everything. That such spells looked at the subjects in three parts, physical body, mind and abilities. That the usual spell was to swap minds but she had changed it to swap abilities only – well that was what it was supposed to do. That she had only done it because he and Sookie seemed to have so much trouble communicating and she thought the distraction of the telepath was dangerous to him. If they could just sort things out and declare the girl his everyone would be better off. She explained exactly how the spell worked and, most importantly, what was needed to break it. She had designed that especially for the two of them as well. Eric looked at her in shock when she was done.

"You're telling me I have to go fuck myself?"

**Part 3: Eric and Sookie**

Eric arrived at Merlotte's in a foul mood. On route to Sookie's house he had realised how much he was going to enjoy the experience of getting his body back but when he'd discovered she was not at home all his anger over the situation had returned. If she wasn't at the dog's dive he was going to have to beat the shifter until he gave up her location. He was bound to know, he always knew.

Eric smoothed his skirt and was adjusting his breasts when a woman approached him with a look of disapproval on her face.

"Why Sookie Stackhouse, Adele would turn in her grave. What do you look like?" Eric was about to state that he looked amazing, as always, and tell her where to go but the woman continued before he spoke.

"Now just you listen to someone older and wiser than you. I know that vamper has gone run off on you but you're better off with no man than one like that. And this," she waved a hand down Eric's clothes, "isn't the answer. Men don't want no harlot any more than a nut-case. You take it from me, smile nice, keep your mouth shut and learn to cook like your gran, that's the way to catch a man." Eric blinked at her.

"What?" he asked. The kindly patronising expression shifted immediately.

"Now don't you 'what' me young lady. We all know you ain't right in the head but I know Adele taught you better than to speak to your elders like that!" Eric didn't think he'd ever been spoken to in such a manner, not even when he was a young human. He was too stunned to say anything. "You just you smarten yourself up young lady and stop this nonsense, or I'll be over your house to do it for you." The woman had indicated the clothes again as her subject matter before patting Eric's cheek a little too hard. "My you're cold, no wonder since you're barely dressed. You get yourself back to church and stay away from those vampers and maybe you'll get yourself a nice boy like my Hoyt." Eric could clearly see the woman didn't mean actually 'her Hoyt' who she obviously thought was too good for 'Sookie.' He was about to get into a 'lesson' of his own when the woman turned and walked away, throwing back without so much as looking over her shoulder, "I'll tell the reverend to expect you on Sunday," as if the matter of Sookie going to church had been settled.

Eric's mood was not improved by the encounter. Pam was going to be paying for this for a very long time. And he needed to get Sookie away from these people. No wonder she had fallen for Bill's pathetic act if this was how most people saw her. Maybe he could delay switching back and take her to his house 'for safety'. Once she got a taste of what life with him would be like, she surely wouldn't want to return. But then Sookie had strange ideas about that sort of thing and besides it would be impossible for him to work in this body. Most importantly he had no intention of delaying having sex with Sookie when he had such a good reason to do it.

A moment later, inside Merlotte's, Sookie saw herself walk through the door looking pretty pissed.

"What the Hell am I doing?" Her body asked her.

"What the Hell am _I_ wearing?" She hissed back lowering Eric's voice far more than he had lowered hers. Eric looked like he was ready to argue it out right there when he realised that she was in a position to cause him as much embarrassment as he could cause her. He wouldn't put it passed Sookie to give these vermin an image of him, or his body at least, on his knees and begging in the middle of the dog's bar just to make him look bad. He scowled at her instead.

"Go through to Sam's office, no one will question me just heading back there. I'll be with you as soon as I've delivered these burgers," she said, still keeping her voice hushed since the whole room had gone quiet and was watching them, straining to hear.

"I will do not such thing!" He growled back blocking her way. She just looked confused.

"What? Which?"

"I will not deliver food to humans like some sort of servant!"

"Fine, you do it then," Sookie (in Eric's body) held out the plates to Eric (in Sookie's body) "Table 12." She raised Eric's eyebrow at him and he huffed.

"Be quick," he conceded and wiggled her butt straight out the back in a way that drew the attention of every male in the bar, (plus a few of the females who thought she was doing it for 'Eric's' benefit and didn't think well of her for it) _Great!_ Sookie thought, now _she_ was going to get shit because Eric was flirting with himself.

A quick scan told her that luckily none of the regulars had realised her body was currently vampire, they'd been too distracted by seeing her familiar form so unfamiliarly dressed. She delivered the food, kowtowing far more that she ever would in her body since she knew he'd hear, then headed out back.

Sam was sat behind his desk, his eyes swinging between the tall, imposing figure that contained Sookie and the smaller yet somehow more imposing figure that contained Eric. Sookie folded Eric's arms and and tapped his foot waiting for someone else to speak since she had no idea of what to say. Eric checked out Sookie's reflection in the darkened window and adjusted some stray hairs.

Seeing the way he looked at the reflection Sookie felt the concerns she'd been burying all day, regarding what he might get up to with her body, raising back up. Despite having gotten used to it during her shift, she felt the bigness of Eric's body again, that it was so different from what she was used to. Perhaps more intensely that she'd felt it throughout this whole episode she had the feeling of being in the _wrong_ body. Looking at her own body inhabited by another was freaking her out so she tried to focus on Sam but he was now busy checking out the proud display of her cleavage that Eric was sporting. She felt herself redden. She knew Eric had noticed Sam's attention because he was breathing in order to emphasise the effect.

"Quit it the pair of you," she snapped yanking the ponytail holder from Eric's hair and starting to scrape the mane back tightly ready to retie it. Obsessively running her fingers through the strands she pulled it tighter and tighter, and higher and higher with each regathering. She could feel her nervous smile pulling at her lips too but she couldn't prevent it.

The more her fingers worked, the more concerned Sam looked and the more angry Eric looked. Within a minute 'her' face held an expression of fury she was sure it had never held before and she was hoping it never would again, it was not an attractive expression.

"Are you trying to make me bald?" Eric finally yelled at her, flitting forward and grabbing her wrists to stop her tugging his hair. He had to stretch to reach but he pulled her arms down to her sides. Even with the body swap, he was still vampire and she still human, meaning he remained the stronger.

Hair tumbled loose over her shoulders as she dropped her head to stare at the white shirt she was wearing, not wanting to see her own face looking up at her.

"Eric, relax, she always does that when she's nervous and she's not bald," Sam interrupted. He'd moved close to them, clearly concerned, but was neither brave or stupid enough, depending on your point of view, to physically intervene.

They were all silent for a while. Sam dithered, Eric tried to calm himself and Sookie tried to gather herself while continuing to avoid all other eyes in the room.

"Fix it," she finally whispered. Eric moved behind her and floated up off the floor in order to fix the Viking mane back into a ponytail, first braiding some parts so it stayed neat. "Thank you," Sookie said. Her eyes had closed as she enjoyed the pleasant sensation of him playing with her hair and she kept them closed. "But that wasn't what I meant," she pointed out.

"I know but we need to leave and I don't want anyone seeing me looking such a mess," Eric answered as he floated down and moved back before her.

When she opened her eyes is was to see her own hand offered towards her invitingly, as a signal they would be leaving together and now. Sookie could feel the hostility emanating from Sam.

"Where are you going?" demanded her boss, failing to keep the anger from his voice.

"None of your business, Shifter," Eric replied. Sookie glared at him. However she knew that what was needed was to lighten the mood.

"Be nice shorty," she said squaring her shoulders and leaning forward slightly so she was towering over him. Eric twitched his lips then rose up again so they were eye to eye, giving her a 'that all you got?' look. Sookie took a large hand and placed it on the head floating before her, pushing him back down to the floor which made him laugh. He didn't fight the pressure.

"We're going back to my house," she told Sam.

"Perhaps I should come with you?" he offered.

"You need to stay here and tend to your business," she said making it kindly by playing on the double meaning.

She looked back at Eric, there was something in his eye that made her nervous. She moved round Sam's desk and grabbed her purse from the bottom drawer, hooking the strap over her shoulder automatically as she straightened. Eric growled and Sam choked. When she'd carried it in earlier she'd had in it her hand with the strap already wound around it for storage. Especially with Sam's reaction, seeing 'himself' with the purse, the Sookiefied Eric froze, worried about the possible effects on his reputation if his body was seen like that by the wrong person, finally he tutted and held out a hand. Sookie considered refusing but just shrugged and handed it over. When Eric slung it over his shoulder with practised ease she had a frozen moment herself.

This time _she_ held _her_ hand out to _him_. It was a strange feeling as her larger fingers curled over his smaller ones.

"See you later Sam," she said as she and Eric walked out together.

Leaving by the back door they didn't see anyone on the way to the car but Sookie could hear the minds of those that were watching the lot out the window just in case of such an exit. She'd headed towards her car initially but a light tug from Eric had redirected them towards his Corvette. She was vaguely aware it might be problematic later, leaving her car here, but as she watched her body slide behind the wheel under the control of Eric's mind she figured on the whole it wasn't particularly important.

Once in the car, Eric looked lost at what to do with the purse so Sookie tutted and held out a hand in imitation of him in Sam's office. He returned it and she placed it by her leg in the footwell.

Eric seemed to have no problems with the adjustments necessary to drive using a smaller body for which Sookie was glad since she wouldn't have dared drive the Corvette even if Eric had wanted her to. As it was, his attitude made it clear he hadn't the slightest intention of letting her try.

They made it back to her place in silence and she let them in, dumping her purse on a chair and heading straight for the kitchen. Automatically she grabbed a True Blood from the fridge and was about to put it in the microwave when she paused.

"I've already eaten once tonight," Eric said from behind her, answering her unasked question. "I'm sure you have too," he soothed. She nodded and placed the bottle in the oven before switching it on.

"What did I … you … have?" She wasn't sure she wanted to know, especially since there was a possibility that the question should have been 'who' rather than 'what' but she'd had to ask. Eric's smile, when she looked at him, was one of reassurance.

"Donor blood," he said. Sookie nodded in acceptance. She might have preferred True Blood of the three possible options but this one was better than the third.

"You?" he asked, though she got them impression he was only reciprocating for her sake.

"Coffee; sausage, egg and grits; a club sandwich with side salad; some fried chicken and fries; and a slice of apple pie; oh and a burger Lafayette," she added apologetically. "You have quite the appetite I'm afraid, I'm still hungry." Eric laughed and Sookie managed a grin.

"What else have you been up to today?" Eric asked sounding much more interested in this than he'd been in the food question. She took the blood from the microwave and shook it before handing it to him.

"Well I had to work,"

"Oh, you _had_ to did you?" Eric was sceptical and not happy either way.

"Yes I had to, I promised Sam. Don't worry anyway, you were a real big hit with the customers."

"You didn't consider it might have a negative effect on my position?"

"Why would it? Everyone was polite, these big ol' arms of yours really remind people of their manners even when on a lowly human," she teased trying to lighten the mood again, damn proud vampire. Eric looked surprised.

"I suppose that's true, though I don't remember them making much of an impression on you."

"Oh they sure did. I thought you were the scariest thing I'd ever seen that first night in Fangtasia."

"It didn't show. Because of my arms?" he clearly doubted it.

"Of course not silly, because you're a vampire."

"But you came to my bar that night with a vampire. And please do not say 'silly' like that in my voice, it is disturbing." Sookie sniggered making Eric's scowl deepen.

"I was only with _Vampire Bill_ that night and mostly he's not really scary at all, I certainly didn't think so at the time. I really knew almost nothing about you-all back then. Not that I feel I know that much now."

"I think that was Pam's intention." Eric sighed realising both his women were right, he and Sookie had never shared much about themselves, well not that he could remember. Had they talked when he stayed here? What would they have talked about?

Meanwhile Sookie was deducing quick connections of her own.

"Pam's? Are you saying … This wasn't witches was it?"

"No. Unless you wish to refer to Pam as one. I understand the phrase might be appropriate from a human perspective and it would certainly annoy her."

"But why?"

Eric explained all Pam had told him about the nature of the spell and why she had done it, leaving out only what it would take to undo it. They also swapped stories on some of the difficulties they had faced as a result of this 'switch,' though they were both hiding as much as they were telling. Eric found that both their tongues had been loosened because of their mutual problem. Since this was an experience they were sharing to an extent, and every matter they confronted regarding it concerned them both. He had no intention of letting Pam know how much of her intentions had worked.

They'd been sitting in the kitchen but Sookie felt the need for a more comfortable seat, especially since, not used to the height, she'd spend much of the day stooping. Eric agreed and signalled her to walk ahead, even though he was the guest as well as technically the girl at the moment. It quickly became apparent why as he brushed a hand over her butt while they walked.

She turned to scowl at him.

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all? It's my body," he defended.

"Yes but you're using _my_ hand to touch it."

"Hasn't your hand already touched it?" Sookie didn't answer but headed back into the kitchen, opening the fridge and taking out a slice of pie. It was that or smack Eric upside the back of the head like Gran used to Jason. Since she was the guy at the moment it felt wrong to strike a 'girl' so she settled for pie.

"Hey, watch my figure," Eric said mostly joking.

"I'm only eating how I do normally," she said. Eric responded by peeping over his shoulder and squeezing the ass he was currently wearing in an evaluating way. "Be nice or I'm making garlic pasta," Sookie warned. Eric held up his hands to say 'OK enough' which was as close as he got to defeat, and they both headed into the living room.

With a groan Sookie kicked the uncomfortable shoes off and sighed as she wiggled Eric's toes. Suddenly he was off the couch and kneeling before her. Carefully he removed Sam's socks and inspected the feet.

"What's this?" he demanded.

"It's called a foot in English, no idea what Vikings called them," she said offhandedly. She was distracted by the idea that this was exactly what Eric saw when she had washed his bleeding feet. Eric pinched a toe hard to make her pay attention. "Ouch," she tried to pull the foot away but Eric wouldn't let go.

"I am talking about these ugly sores on my feet," he explained. Sookie was still distracted by the semi-reversal of roles. Here once again was Eric's body with no Eric inside sitting with Sookie inspecting his damaged feet, only this time there was no Sookie down there, just her body. Something about this moment seemed important.

"They're just blisters, they'll heal as soon as you're you again." She said not really paying much attention to the conversation. She was used to doing that from when she had to shield heavily.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" A sharpness in tone brought her focus to Eric.

"When I brought you back here, with amnesia, you had cuts on your feet and I, well I cleaned you up a bit. I was just thinking this must have been just how I looked to you then." She didn't know how to explain it better than that.

"You cleaned my feet?" Eric was taken by the moment too.

"You were bleeding."

"I wasn't healing?"

"Well yes but … there was dirt in the cuts and …"

"That wouldn't have mattered." Unfortunately his comment reminded her that this was the vampire who had tricked her into drinking his blood by saying the bullet would heal under his skin if she didn't and the moment was lost.

"Really?" She turned accusing eyes on him and he looked caught for a brief flash before changing subjects.

"So you have my body for one day and already you have damaged it." He turned the tables back to her.

"I … Well …" Sookie didn't know what to say. He was right, she'd be angry if she got her body back to find cuts and bruises on it. "I'm sorry, I didn't do it on purpose."

"I will need to heal these. You will take my blood." Eric said hiding how much he liked that idea too.

"But what will it do?" Sookie wasn't saying no but she clearly had concerns.

"It will heal these injuries." She'd had vampire blood before, from him and from Bill, Eric was confused by her concerns.

"No I mean, since we're all mixed up and swapped around." Eric hadn't considered that but it didn't change anything for him. He wanted to do this and he would.

"I've no idea.,"

"What if it's not safe? What it we get stuck like this?"

"I see no reason why we should, Pam has already told me how to undo the spell."

"She has? How?"

"Blood first," he insisted moving back up to sit beside her on the couch.

When she didn't argue Eric bit into his wrist and offered it to Sookie.

"That better not leave a mark," she said. Then gave him a wink before putting her lips over the wound. Eric let out a moan and manuevered himself onto her lap. This was so much more intense than when she had drank from him before. He rubbed himself on her laplegs and she grabbed his hips with her large hands to keep him still while giving him a disapproving look over the arm she was still drinking from. The arm healed after a moment, he hadn't bitten deep, and Sookie pulled back intensifying her hard look.

"Just what do you think …" there was blood on her lips and Eric leaned forward claiming them with his. She reacted instinctively, returning the kiss and curling her fingers into the hips she still held. With slow precision she pulled him closer along her legs until their bodies had full contact. Eric very much enjoyed the friction caused by the action, so did his body judging by the lump he felt beneath him.

He was very glad to know everything was in working order, especially given the last bit of information he had to tell Sookie – how they were going to switch back. He could feel her broad chest heaving with the need to breathe and released her lips though she hadn't tried to pull away. She looked upset by the loss for a moment but that quickly turned to dismay. She pushed him off her lap and he was able to move quickly enough to ensure he moved to the seat next to her rather than ending up on the floor.

Sookie looked down at her lap and blushed. "Not again," slipped from her lips as she quickly covered her lap with a cushion before closing her eyes tight in intense concentration. Eric forced a cough and she looked at him.

"Just give me a minute," she snapped.

"Me distracting you will work just as well. What did you mean by not again?" He said not giving her chance to disagree. Her face fell and he knew that wouldn't be the only body part that did. She hid behind large hands and shook her head. "What exactly have you and my body been up to together?" he pushed. She peeped out at him, saw his look of glee and dropped her hands to glare.

"Far less than what you've been doing with my body I'm sure," she sounded much more confident than she actually felt. Luckily Eric went quiet. "I knew it, pervert!"

"Is masturbation perversion?" he asked innocently.

"It's not … that … when you are in someone else's body." Eric laughed at the sight of him being flustered by sex talk. He knew Sookie probably masturbated, most women did, and especially since she was no longer having sex with Bill, or anyone else from what his spies told him. But still she would not say the word. If there was ever a time Eric would giggle this would be it but instead he teased her some more.

"Do the perversion police have rules for this situation?" he asked waving a hand back and forth to indicate the swap. He was enjoying himself.

"The who? There are no such people and you know it." Sookie was getting more flustered by the minute, soon he'd be able to kiss her again and she'd have no defences in place to fight her desire for him.

"Oh there are, I think you would know them as 'organised religion','" he smirked.

"I can't believe you are actually enjoying this," she huffed.

"Well from the evidence you were enjoying this too a moment ago." Sookie went back to blushing, it was odd to see his face do that.

"It's not my fault. That thing has a mind of its own, which seems to be about the same as your mind from what I can tell." Sookie became stronger as she went on the attack.

"You still haven't explained the 'again.'"

"He likes hot showers, that's all, but it's OK because he hates cold ones," she huffed. Eric laughed.

"How cliché of you. So, a shower? You didn't mention that in your summary of the day."

"Well I didn't think about it, I brushed your teeth too."

"I'm glad to hear it but what I really want to hear about is this shower, the hot part." The lust was oozing from him.

"Take that look off my face!" Eric laughed but lightened his expression. "Now you can stop avoiding and tell me how we fix this."

"You won't like it. Well you will but you'll pretend not to."

"Look, I want my body back before you do God knows what with it."

"That reminds me, you have an appointment with God and a fat woman on Sunday. I didn't get a name but she's related to someone called 'Hoyt.'"

"Mrs Fortenberry … you … what did you … never mind. Undo this now."

"Well I can't do it alone, you'll need to help me."

"Fine, whatever it takes,"

"Really?" Eric looked far too delighted and Sookie regretted the turn of phrase immediately.

"So what will it take exactly?" Sookie asked.

Somehow, despite being in Eric's body, she had still managed to fold herself up, legs tucked underneath. She was still eating the plate of pie and every now and then she would put it down and dab at her mouth with a napkin while checking her chest for crumbs which would cause a slight crease to pucker between her brows as she noticed again each time the absence of her bust.

Eric felt her small movements seemed even more feminine in his body. The way she reached up to tuck a few loose hairs behind her ear, the way she'd use her tongue to catch a loose crumb on her lip, the way she'd wiggle her toes a little, simple small movements that were just more her than him.

In contrast he was sat as he usually did, arms sprawled along the arm and back of the couch as he sat at an angle to mostly face her, legs crossed towards her in invite, running a hand through his hair now and then, a movement that, in his body, displayed his bicep, drew attention to his hair and pulled the gaze to his face where his eyes would be waiting to pounce. In Sookie's body it had a different effect. He'd automatically added an intake of breath to heave the bosom and even Sookie struggled to look anywhere else when he did.

Eric explained to her what Pam had told him about breaking the spell but they were both distracted and he wasn't sure she was really listening. He had no idea where her thoughts had gone but his own were caught on the way she was chewing her lip nervously.

"While ordinarily I'd love for you to be biting my lips, I'd prefer you wait until you are you again to do so. Sookie froze, her eyes finally focusing on him, she'd been unaware of the action. Eric reached forward and pulled the still-caught-lip free with a thumb tip. Sookie's gaze remained locked to his but she didn't speak.

For a moment she looked like she she was going to but then she picked up the last bite of pie and ate it instead. She was licking the sugar from her fingers, her mind wandering again. Eric found himself desperate to know what she was thinking but he knew he'd never find out by asking. Instead he teased her.

"I love watching you lick me," he said.

"Technically you're watching you lick you," she said. "And I don't doubt you enjoy it."

"I'd enjoy it more if I were watching me lick you," he said running a hand over one of his breasts.

"Quit that right now!" Sookie said indignant. Eric grinned mischievously.

"No," he challenged.

"Please Eric, I can't watch you play with myself," she said.

"Why?"

"Because it's too weird, all of this, swapping bodies and the idea of …" Eric realised this was what had her so distracted. She had heard what they needed to do, she was just not sure she could do it.

"Wouldn't it be more 'weird' to stay like this when there is something we can do to put it right?"

"I suppose, but … there has to be another way,"

"There isn't."

"You mean you have no intention of finding one," Eric shrugged it was the same difference, this was what they were doing. "But Eric, I don't know how." She finally admitted what was bothering her.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," her voice suddenly became stronger as embarrassment hid behind anger. "I barely know what I'm doing in that body let alone this one."

"But we already …" Eric understood what she was saying but he found it hard to understand why she should doubt herself.

"Yes, we did," she admitted sadly.

"And I said you were the best," he encouraged.

"Well sure, but seeing as you couldn't remember anyone else I'm not sure how much we can rely on that." Eric laughed.

"You know, I've never done _this_ either, and I've done just about everything."

"Exactly!"

It took him a moment but Eric finally realised what her problem was. "You're worried I will have a problem with your lack of experience." He liked to put things out there in plain speech, it was the easiest way to confront them.

"Well I've only been with Bill and then you, and I'm not sure that counts since you weren't really you, and now this – does this count as a third person or just you again?" Eric laughed deeply. Sookie blushed. He moved forward and straddled her lap. She let him without a fuss even leaning back to give him more room.

"I've never had sex with you before, but you've had sex with me, doesn't that put me at the disadvantage?" he said watching his own face look back at him in surprise.

"I never thought of it like that," Sookie admitted. She looked happier.

They shifted so they were arranged more comfortably, Eric still straddling Sookie's lap but she had unfurled her legs. Awkwardly she put her hands on Eric's hips. Eric was looking like he was ready to take the corset off right away.

"Not yet," Sookie said, he looked at her. "Let's just kiss for a while," she said. They'd already done that after all.

"Isn't the guy supposed to be the one pushing things to go faster rather than slower? I understood that was traditional," Eric almost pouted.

"It might be normally, but you, Miss Eric, are a floozy," Sookie countered. "And one of us has to keep our hormones in check." She kept her face straight for only a couple for seconds before she laughed at the offended look Eric gave her. Eric laughed with her but then his look turned calculating.

"You think you can?" he asked. Sookie widened her eyes. Eric grinned.

She focused on Eric staring out at her from her eyes, that his face was reflected in them made it easier. Though there was a big part of her that felt uncomfortable with this, she told herself it was Eric's arguments that had convinced her to go through with it, and not her curiosity.

He leaned forward and kissed her slowly. She was tense at first but when he didn't push she relaxed into it. As she kissed back, Eric used Sookie's fingertips explore the bones of his own face, the strong jaw line, the thick neck. Sookie was already reacting, his body's broad chest heaving with deeper breaths. Eric pushed on, trailing his fingertips along the skin just under the collar of the shirt, round to the top button which he popped open with deliberation. Sookie pulled back from the kiss and gave him a look.

"You said I couldn't take _your body's_ top off, so I'm not," he defended, popping another button open. Sookie didn't see how she could object. It was his body he was exposing and men walked around shirtless all the time it wasn't even improper really. When she said nothing Eric continued with the buttons but leaned back in to resume the kiss. This time Sookie responded immediately, even enthusiastically.

Eric got the shirt open and stroked the firm muscles of her chest. As he rubbed his thumb over a nipple he felt her fingertips press harder into his hips.

By the time they moved to the bedroom Eric had proved Sookie had little more control over his hormones than he'd ever had. Her mind might not know what to do but his body sure did. She had carried him through and laid him on the bed with a level of command he'd used himself more than once in the past.

The corset had been discarded on the living room floor, along with the shirt. The jeans Sookie had been wearing Eric had pulled down after pinning her to the wall near the kitchen and Sookie had simply stepped out of them when she'd picked him up to bring him to the bed.

Eric had been amused and turned on to discover she had opted to go commando. She'd shown a hint of embarrassed hesitation when he'd looked up to meet her eye over it, but he quickly got her past it with what he was down there for. He'd done this plenty for his Maker many centuries before, but it was strange to be doing it to his own body. Still, he knew what he was doing and Sookie was soon moaning and straining against his hands that held her in a vampire-vice-grip to prevent her thrusting forward too violently, he knew the urge would be there.

That was when she'd decided it was her turn to be in command. She'd pulled him to his feet and then picked him up bridal style before striding into the bedroom and dumping him on the bed with a no nonsense toss. He'd actually been startled by her actions but she was already pulling the skirt down over his hips before he could question.

She ran her hand down, over his breasts, his stomach, down to his mound of venus, Eric sucked in his breath, pupils dilating. Searching with the tip of her finger, Sookie found the right place and pushed up into the warm, wet tunnel she found. She had done it before of course, alone, but this was different somehow.

Eric made a sound part pleasure, part surprise. Nothing that could be done to his male body felt anything like this, and he'd tried everything. Not that this was better or worse, just so excitingly different. Far different to when he'd explored this body earlier. He could see the excitement on his own face looking at him. Sookie was enjoying this too whatever she wanted to tell herself.

He pushed up onto the finger seeking more of the feeling it was creating.

"Add another," he gasped. Sookie complied sliding her fingers in slowly at first but then thrusting up harder after a moment. Eric gasped again, his fangs coming out. Sookie giggled which was just wrong coming from his mouth and he frowned at her.

"Don't …" he started but she thrust those fingers up into him again while pressing at his clit with her thumb, cutting him off. His fangs strained at his gums with the sensations he was experiencing. He could see she was feeling powerful and that she was enjoying it.

Pulling her down on top of him, Eric kissed her deeply, running his hand down her back over the firm round buttocks (hmmm they did feel nice) then drifting his hand round to stroke the hard-on that was caught between them. Under his expert touch, lust quickly overtook any remnants of reason as it so often did. Sookie's hips thrust forward instinctively in response to his touch and their bodies and instincts took over leaving their minds to try and keep up with the sensations they were experiencing.

Sookie slide down out of Eric's reach and sucked a breast into her mouth as her fingers went back to work on his throbbing velvet tunnel. Eric tangled his hands in her hair, riding up into her, his legs spreading wider than should be comfortable. Sookie scraped her teeth over sensitive skin flicking the nipple with her tongue and a sound of need was wrest from his throat. She slid back up his body, their eyes meeting in shared lust.

Consensus met silently, Eric helped line her up into position, she was shaking with desire and their eyes burned into each other.

"Now," Eric told her. She couldn't have said no if she'd wanted to. She pushed forward carefully at first, but as she felt the warmth envelop her tightly, she delved in harder, seeking more of that enticing feeling. When she could go no further she grunted in frustration, pulling back to try again, she needed to go deeper, to get more.

Eric met her thrust for thrust and as the tension built they both had the strange sensation of feeling both their own and the other's experience simultaneously. Sookie pounded into Eric again and again and Eric dug his fingers into her butt urging her on. Skin slapping they grunted and groaned reaching further and further towards the edge. Eric's fangs ached for the bite and pulling Sookie against him as she pumped into him he sank them through the skin of his own throat. Sookie cried out.

[***]

Sookie's body was incapable of movement as she tried to catch her breath. Gradually her heartbeat slowed and reason started to sneak back in. Before she could fully regain consciousness Eric's face started to nuzzle at her neck.

"My blood is not nearly so tasty as yours," he murmured nipping at her skin with blunt teeth before licking. An aftershock rippled through her and he lifted his head to look at her. It was so good to have them both back in the right bodies that she couldn't help but smile at him.

"I was right," he said looking down at her. She gave him a questioning look back. "You are the best," he clarified. Sookie blushed and Eric's pupils dilated.

"So," Sookie said not sure what she was planning to follow that with.

"Oh no you don't," Eric answered. She frowned. "You are mine Sookie, I am not accepting anything else."

"But …"

"No arguments," he looked very earnest. Sookie wanted to argue anyway, from habit, but the trouble was she knew, as much as she had enjoyed Amnesiac Eric for a little while, this was the superior version in every way. And if she'd _almost_ loved the other Eric, that meant … Damn it!

"I'm not giving up my job," she said challengingly.

"Acceptable," he shrugged, he had every intention of taking up as many of her nights as he could but if she wanted to work in the day …

"And I expect monogamy," she pointed out. Eric found this easier to accept than he would have thought, though they might have to discuss blood options, especially for work purposes.

"Not a problem, no one else can match up to you anyway," he leered at her. She put her palm over his face and brushed the look away, they were both surprised by the affection in the gesture. He smiled in triumph. She removed that look too, with a kiss, which was followed by another, which was followed by much more. As interesting as the other experience had been, this was definitely preferable to them both.

[***]

Towards dawn Eric had to leave, Sookie had been dozing sprawled across him and he was loathe to leave her. He promised himself soon it would not be necessary, she would stay with him every night and he would fall to the dawn with her in his arms. Selfishly he nudged her awake for a last kiss before he went. She made it clear she was glad he had so he didn't feel too bad.

He dressed in the clothes she had worn, they smelled of a mix of them both, just as the whole room did, and as Sookie did, and himself. He leaned in to smell her throat a last time, nuzzling slightly 'til she gave a sleepy chuckle and tried half-heartedly to push him away. Dawn was drawing closer and he had to go. He planned to pick up the shoes that had caused the blisters on the way out also, he would be dropping them in the swamp during the flight home. (There was not enough time to drive, he'd have Bobby pick up his car.)

"Oh by the way," Sookie called as he got to the door. He turned and raised his brow. "I should probably warn you that Bill might be under the impression you are currently having a secret affair with Sam," she said sleepily. Luckily she'd peeped at him so she didn't miss the look on his face.

* * *

* Saturnalia was a roman winter solstice celebration in which many people swapped roles, masters would serve their staff, a 'fool' would be made 'King' etc, is was also a festival of light, of searching for truth and knowledge. The is a combination of playfulness with the idea of moving towards a better time.


End file.
